Ready or not . . . Jump or be pushed.

I leave for Ireland in 5 days (including today). I'm sitting in my living room thinking of all of the things I have yet to do, and all of the things I should already have done by now. By this time next week all of those things will be done, I will be in Ireland and gotten through what I'm most nervous about - getting off the plane, finding my bags, finding the Maynooth people, finding my apartment, etc. What a wonderful thought that is! At this time next week I'm sure I will have already made friends. I bet some of these friends will become my best friends over the next 4 months. I've already connected with some on Facebook, and I am so excited to meet them in person. Oh, the beauty of the mystery of what lies ahead!

People keep asking me if I'm ready. My answer is a laugh followed by a verbal, "No." As the days inch closer, my answer should really be, "Yes!" I bet my answer will still be, "No." even while I'm waiting at the gate, boarding the plane. Even when everything is packed, the forms are filled out, the odds and ends are bought, I will still not feel ready, but me saying that I'm not ready does not mean that I don't want to do it. It means that I have no idea what lies ahead and don't know if what I think of as "being ready" is really ready for what lies ahead. I have never cliff jumped before, but I bet the feelings I have about going to another country are similar to jumping or being shoved off of a cliff into a big, refreshing, body of water. I'm scared to jump, but I'm so excited for the feeling that will come as I'm free falling in the air.

I haven't even begun to pack. I know, I know. When I tell people this, they look at me with this look that says, "You're crazy! You leave in less than a week and still haven't started packing?" Yup. I haven't, but it will get done.... probably the night before I leave. I'm doing my "study abroad" shopping with my mom and dad, tonight. (After shopping, tonight, I'll probably start thinking about bringing the suitcases up to my room. :) My mom has asked me each day this week, "Do you have your list ready?" Each time my answer has been a hesitated, "Yes....." I do have a list, I just don't know if everything I need is on it. I just don't know if I'm forgetting anything, but I guess I won't really know if I'm forgetting anything until I get over there. I know that if I forget anything, it is not the end of the world. . .  it will seem like it at that moment since I can't just drive home to get it, but that will be a chance for me to grow and learn!

The most amazing thing about this opportunity/experience is that I have realized that the timing for it couldn't be more perfect. There have been times that I have gotten frustrated with God's timing with this, but then I take a step back and realize He is doing this for a reason. Thoughts I have, but God has an answer/reason for . . .

"Still not running/injured. I wish I wasn't studying abroad until next semester so that I could be in better shape after working and running all summer. Then maybe I'd be more confident and feel better about myself. And when I get over there I will be so busy, I won't be able to workout, so how am I going to get in better shape?" God planned this out for a reason though. It's His test to help you see the beauty within. God says: Stop focusing on body image. Be confident in who you are, now. Be the best person you can be. Be the happiest person you can be, because that I the way God made you. So you won't have time to exercise as much, but you'll be doing bigger and better things. You'll be in Ireland! Make the most of the experience! I felt at peace with this especially after reading this article. You're already perfect. (You should all read it. It is perfect.)

"My cousin is studying abroad next semester. That would have been so cool to study abroad at the same time. Why didn't I wait until next semester to study abroad?" God's says: Maybe if you both would have gone at the same time, you wouldn't have gained as much independence as you will going by yourself.

"I am 4.5 months into a relationship. I wish I would have chosen next semester to study abroad so we could have had a stronger base before I go away for the length of what our relationship is at. (4.5 months)." God's says: I put this so early in the relationship for a reason. This is a time for a break and for each of you to focus on yourselves and if it's really supposed to work, then it will when you get back. You know that I have a miraculous plan for each of you! Trust in me.

"It's my niece's/God daughter's first birthday this year. We share the same birthday. I won't be there to celebrate our birthdays together!" God says: Silly, Megan. That is trivial. You will be able to celebrate many more with her.

Basically I feel God is saying: Stop worrying and trust my plan for you.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

- Jeremiah 29:11 

Yes, I realize that it really is silly for me to worry about all of those things when I am going to IRELAND. So instead, I cast all of those worries aside, pray about them, and think about the bigger picture and how blessed I am to have this opportunity. I am so excited to see what God has in store.